Coldplay “Prospekt’s March” Review
Coldplay, to me, have always been the musical equivalent of the movie genre lovingly known as “chick flicks.” “Chick flicks” are the types of movies that offer little to no challenge to the audience member and can be easily deciphered within the first couple of minutes of the opening scene. Most people who seek out and support this type of entertainment are not looking to be challenged or prodded, but to be numbed by repetition and familiarity. Their art is not be forceful or engaging, but docile and molded to their liking so that they can comfortably know that they will enjoy it before the production even starts. To these millions who fill multiplexes each summer, Coldplay is their soundtrack.
After releasing their last album, Viva la Vida, which even Brian Eno could not bring to life, they for some reason decided to put out an EP. The record, titled Prospekt’s March, is a plodding and boring mess that offers very few redeeming qualities. The record starts out with “Life in Technicolor II”, which is a standard Coldplay number. Like a lot of their later work, the guitars prominently display their U2 fetish, and the lyrics seem to make an attempt to ape their Irish heroes. Unfortunately, Chris Martin sounds like a bush league poet compared to the early, overtly political Bono he is trying to reproduce. He speaks in generalities of streets and cold wars, but the music and the singing never leave first gear and the song is more depressing than enlivening. Continuing on with the boring, unoriginal theme of the first song, the second number is a whimsical piano number that noodles on for 45 seconds before leading into another paint-by-numbers Coldplay song titled “Glass of Water.” “Rainy Day” is their first stab at something different, with some effect laden vocals and some plunking piano and guitar parts, but as expected, it never leaves the ground and it lost my attention by the halfway mark. “Prospekt’s March” is their standard fair slow ballad, which is the one thing that they have had moderate success doing in the past. They seem well versed at making over-dramatic songs that seem destined for prom nights, but at least they seem genuine. This song is not one of their best as far as downtrodden radio fodder goes, but at least it kept me paying attention for an entire song.
The next song, “Lost” kind of blew my mind, and not in a good way. This may be the worst song on a pretty bad album, and it took me aback to hear Jay-Z come in with some flows halfway through. The beginning and end of the song are the worst of what Coldplay does, with unoriginal music and lazy drumming with some fifth grade lyrics by Martin, and then BOOM. One of the greatest MC’s of our time comes in and tries to save this song, but his lyrics are nowhere near his usual quality (maybe he didn’t want to waste them on this trash) and it ends up sounding like a crappy mashup. I would feel sorry for Jay-Z, but I am so sick of prominent rappers propping up garbage bands like Coldplay and John Mayer, so I suppose he is lying in the bed that he made.
The last few songs middle on in the same fashion with “Lovers in Japan” being more upbeat and “Now My feet Won’t Touch The Ground” ending the album with an acoustic ballad, which is nice, since the few people who were not put to sleep from the previous seven songs will have a gentle, boring lullaby to ease them into golden slumbers.
All this being said, this album will no doubt end up being another platinum record for Coldplay to put up on their wall. No matter what people like me say, generic rock and roll, like “chick flicks,” will always have a warm and comfy spot in the American lexicon. Like Paul Weller famously said, “The public gets what the public wants.”
(Official) (MySpace) (Wikipedia)
Also: (Coldplay on Later with Jools Holland) (Four Takes on Coldplay’s “Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends”)
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Lovin’ the new Coldplay, eh Josh? Haha – I haven’t heard this one but I doubt I need to. The Coldplay downward spiral continues…
I find this review offensive: to say that the Jay-Z collab on Lost is a bad mashup gives mashups a bad name. (other than that I agree with everything said)
the contrarian in me wants to really like coldplay.
but i don’t.
wasn’t too mad at that verse though.
For what it’s worth, I like the first 10 or 15 seconds of “Viva la Vida”…
I must say, this is amazingly fucking biased. Explain to me the coincidence that you only seem to like the polar opposite of the music being reviewed, that being up-beat hip-hop and rap? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like Coldplay at all. But if I want a review of this album, I’d like it to be unbiased and unoffensive to those fans of the band.
(Lost+ just happens to be the worst song I’ve ever heard)
I don’t know about being biased – I’m biased towards death metal… doesn’t mean I didn’t like the new Britney Spears album. Gotta call a spade a spade, sometimes… “we” collectively reviewed their last album too… was that biased as well?
All things considered, it could have been a whole lot worse – Josh could have written a positive review of the album. Then I think we’d have something to really get angry about!
This is biased to hell and back. Get a different job because you really suck at reviews. The whole article was opinions and insults. You need to give a fair review, but honestly, it’s too late for you to ever give one unless it’s a band that YOU like.
Chris (not DeLine)-reviews, by their very nature, are one persons (or, if you choose to dig in the Culture Bully archives, four) opinion(s) of the record/concert, and an opinion or judgment on said work is bound to be biased, simply because it is based on the feelings and opinions of the reviewer. How can Josh, or anyone, take into account the varying opinions and thoughts about a record that everyone holds? Look around if you want a favorable review of the e.p.-there are plenty of them out there. He simply stated his opinion and reaction to a record, you can disagree (or agree, based on your response), but of course it’s going to be biased, it is his opinion after all. It’s going to slant in the direction that he chooses, for it is Josh’s review of the album after all. I think rags like Rolling Stone run into trouble with their innocuous reviews where they seem to give every record a B, no matter how crap it is. They lose all credibility that way. Josh at least listened to the whole e.p., which I applaud him for, didn’t like it, and voiced that opinion. It’s not gospel, Chris, it’s a review. Treat it as such.
Who would have guessed Coldplay fans would be so angry and vulgar?
…well, I agree that in some ways this review is biased. It’s biased towards people who have decent taste in music – sort of like how most chefs are biased against McDonalds. I guess this means that people who like music that sucks get the short end of the stick…
Way to fan the flames, Jon. Thanks for the laughs.
I LOVE COLDPLAY AND PROSPEKTS MARCH!! just because people like you have to over analyze things so much you take the meaning out of it doesnt mean others dont like them!!
Microsoft sucks. Survivor is a bad show etc etc…. Another moron who simply hates anything that the masses make popular.
Weak.
It’s all subjective, yo!
“just because people like you have to over analyze things so much you take the meaning out of it doesnt mean others dont like them!!”
Correct. It’s awesome that you love Coldplay – and it’s great that they’ve given you something that you enjoy listening to.
“Microsoft sucks. Survivor is a bad show etc etc…. Another moron who simply hates anything that the masses make popular. Weak.”
I’m not sure that this has anything to do with either the review or the discussion that followed. Coincidence that Imis sounds a lot like Imus?
This whole comment thread is biased to hell and back!!!
hahaha.
yeah josh, didn’t you learn in journalism school that CD reviews are supposed to be objective, unbiased, fact-based news articles? it’s totally unethical to insert our own opinions into one.
you’re fired!
(i hate to be sarcastic on the internet, but so it goes).
we should really review david archuleta’s album when it drops. i bet we could get 500 comments.
Let me guess, you use Firefox and drive a Volkswagen and like Radiohead?
Internet browsers? Really?
Jetta?
I listen to Volkswagen and drive a Radiohead – I am just that far ahead of the game
I’m still driving a Soundgarden… I’d trade it in, but really can’t afford to with the economy being what it is.
Good news for all the Coldplay fans here – just announced 3 stadium dates in the UK for 2009:
Sept. 12 Manchester Old Trafford Cricket Ground
Sept. 16 Glasgow Hampden Park
Sept. 19 London’s Wembley Stadium
Viva La Vida has now reached the top spot in the charts in 36 countries.
I’m driving a Max Webster myself.
So far, I like the album. It’s not as good as Viva La Vida which I think flows better and since this has 2 hold over tracks (and 3 if you count the fact that “Life In Technicolour II” is basically just a lyrical version of the intro of the VLV album) I think that hurts this from being a solid little E.P.
So basically it has IMO 3 good tracks, 2 decent tracks and 2 songs that were on the last album anyways and one “meh” track.
Plus yeah I found the whole “Jay-Z brings this song up” laughable…Lost is a great song but again my “bias” is slanted against Rap and so it’s the polar opposite. Jay-Z’s presence is unnecessary and I have no clue why Coldplay felt this was a worthy inclusion when they could have put “Spell A Rebel Yell” or “Death Will Never Conquer” or even the Thin White Duke Remix of Viva La Vida on there.
Oh yeah, and I can totally understand why more people would hate Coldplay than not. When you’re the biggest act of the year and your songs are constantly on the radio, as Eddie Vedder once said about Pearl Jam’s radio play “I’d hate us too”. Plus the fact that they’re consistently successful with every album they put out must be annoying to detractors.
Plus the reviewer is correct, Coldplay isn’t a very challenging band, you don’t listen to Coldplay for sound collages or complex rhythm changes or even just weirdness….however they know how to change things up and keep themselves fresh whilst staying within what makes their music work. If you listen to for example “42″ from the new album, you can tell that’s pretty much their version of a Radiohead song. Hell even Coldplay admit that they’re rip offs in some senses, but what I’ve found cool is that with the progression of albums and especially this one, they’ve become more operatic. Is it ‘cheating’? Sure probably, but is it good? That’s up to the listener. Besides IMO they’re miles ahead of imitators like Keane, Arcade Fire and The Killers with whose shrill voices detract from the music rather than enhance it.
See, I listen to Heavy Metal, Death Metal, Grindcore, Thrash, Alt Rock (or Grunge if you will), Rock, Noise Rock, Punk (anything that’s not rap, as you can tell I hate that shit) but Coldplay is just one of those bands that I can go back to after and just relax and soak it in. They aren’t the only ones though, they just happen to be the most popular right now.
This article is pretentious and snobby.
You make music more complicated than it ought to be. Music is simple and subjective. If someone likes Coldplay they like Coldplay, if they don’t they don’t; but either way don’t put people in a box. It shouldn’t be intellectualised to the point where judgement is made on the type of person you are if you listen to their music!
What’s this rubbish about ‘Most people who seek out and support this type of entertainment are not looking to be challenged or prodded, but to be numbed by repetition and familiarity. Their art is not be forceful or engaging, but docile and molded to their liking’…get a grip, if the music sounds good, what’s the problem? Don’t impress your grandiose pretentious views on others…broaden your horizens and have an open mind.
You know Josh you are hear to review a CD, not insult an entire audience, that just makes you look like an asshole. If you want to insult Coldplay, by all means go for it, but just because you dont like their music does not mean everyone who does is a complete fucking moron.
Your a reviewer, but not a very good one, a good reviewer would take everyone into account and do their job with clear criticism towards the work, not towards its intended audience. You need to learn to be more professional or you will soon find yourself out of work.
“Who would have guessed Coldplay fans would be so angry and vulgar?”
Of course we are going to be angry and vulgar you attecked us! If i had reviewed a Jay-Z album and said everyone who listens to him cares nothing more than about pussy, sex, and other useless additions of political messages in a rap song that a 2 year old could understand, well i bet you would be really pissed off to! so dont go and try to make yourself feel above us by saying all of us colplay fans are stupid, vulgar, and barbaric people.
mate, your an asshole
This aint a review, it is a biased, one sided load of shit dribble
Fucking Shit.
I think that basically sums your review and your personalitiy.
haha totally agree with this review…coldplay is a joke
i must admit i did really like “parachutes” and “a rush of blood to the head,” but they’ve really gone downhill since then. if they’re going to try to totally copy radiohead in a cheap, overblown, and lazy way, then why doesn’t everyone just ignore them and actually listen to…RADIOHEAD? plus chris martin has no sense of constraint…i liked him better when his falsettos were a cool surprise instead of the band’s main asset in everyfuckingsong. yeah?
This shouldn’t be passed off as a review, a more accurate description would be “a completely biased bashing of what is globally known as a good band.”
Glass of Water is the best song I’ve ever heard by Coldplay, it just seems to be a new type of music for Coldplay, but you lump it in with everything else they’ve done. That shows a clear lack of intelligence and intuition on your part.
Lost is pretty mediocre, and putting Jay Z on the track just ruined it, he really dumbed it down.
Sounds like this was your first review…not a good one. Coldplay’s popularity speaks for itself. I loved them as a fledgling band, and still love them as they’re playing stadium gigs on an international scale.
Coldplay = “fifth-grade lyrics”. Jay-Z = “one of the greatest MC’s of our time”.. What an epic fail!! XD
Coldplay is my favorite band and not because the are “mainstream” or copiers. I find their music enjoyable and I think Jay-Z only added to the track instead of making it worse.
About the review, I agree that it is very biased and the author has added way too much of his own personal opinion.
This is not a blog, it’s a CD review. Get it right.