The Top 5 Worst Calls of the 50th Annual Grammys

All things considered, when scanning the list there aren’t really too many surprises, considering that this is the same awards show that had Jethro Tull beating out Metallica and Steely Dan beating out everyone a few years back. It wasn’t out of line to figure Amy Winehouse to win a bunch of awards…and she did. Everyone knew Kanye West would lose the big one but still win a few…and he did. And everyone knows that when the voting committee thinks of rock, they still think of Bruce Springsteen. This year’s award show saw a lot of solid artists nominated and a few actually awarded honors but the following are the the most questionable wins of the 2008 Grammy Awards.

#5 Remixed Recording, Non-Classical

(Of the remixes nominated, which should have won: If you’ve heard of Andy Moor, Carl Craig, Eric Brydz or Dirty South you’re a better man than I.)

This song is so bad for so many reasons. The obvious: it sucks, even for electronica circa 1995. My personal beef: it sucks because the original was apart of the introduction of dialog into popular music on subjects including approaching hip hop as an art…to take Chuck D. entirely out of context for the purpose of fueling some late night Euro-trash rave is nothing less than a crime against culture.

#4 Comedy Album
Flight of the Conchords The Distant Future

(Of the comedy albums nominated, which should have won: Steven Wright I Still Have A Pony)

This is not take anything away from Bret McKenzie or Jemaine Clement because their HBO series surprised many in that it delivered a season’s worth of consistent jokes and storylines (and did a great job at making me laugh), but Steven Wright should win in any award category he’s ever involved in. I Still Have a Pony is an album full of deadpan one liners from start to finish and given that Michael Ian Black, Michael Showalter, Paul F. Tompkins for god’s sake Patton Oswalt weren’t nominated this should have been the obvious choice.

Patton Oswalt “The Dukes of Hazzard” [MP3]

#3 Electronic/Dance Album
The Chemical Brothers We Are the Night

(Of the electronic albums nominated, which should have won: LCD Soundsystem Sound of Silver)

Not only was this one of the biggest let down in terms of electronic albums in 2007 but it was one of the biggest let downs in terms of albums period in 2007. “I don’t see the sense in resting an album’s success on the shoulders of a single that attempts to utilize Fat Lip,” just one of the many reasons the album is horrible (with the exception of one or two mediocre tracks). If you listen to it all the way through I’m sure you’ll find your own reasons for hating it. Without all that already piled hight against We Are The Night, to know that it beat out Sound of Silver and Cross…this world just makes no sense sometimes.

#2 Album Of The Year
Herbie Hancock River: The Joni Letters

(Of the albums nominated, which should have won: Kanye West Graduation)

Graduation aside, this award should really come as no surprise considering the category’s winners the last two years: Dixie Chicks and U2. But while the committee didn’t go with the actual best album on the list it could have at least been daring and gone with the Foo Fighters or been sentimental and gone with Vince Gill or for the sake of making it a sweep Amy Winehouse…but instead it went with the Steely Dan of 2008 – an record that no one has heard and even less people care about.

#1 Country Performance by a Duo or Group With Vocals
The Eagles “How Long”

(Of the country performances nominated, which should have won: Brooks & Dunn’s, Emerson Drive’s, Montgomery Gentry’s or The Time Jumpers’…sweet smooth Jesus – any of them, it doesn’t matter.)

I don’t care what category, what context or what year we’re talking here…The Eagles should never win…anything…ever.

BONUS: Short Form Music Video
Johnny Cash “God’s Gonna Cut You Down”

(Of the videos nominated, which should have won: Justice “D.A.N.C.E.”)

An updated version of Kanye West’s “Can’t Tell Me Nothing” only featured Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham…I suppose that in the minds of the voting committee the duo didn’t stand a chance against Iggy Pop,Kanye West, Chris Martin, Kris Kristofferson, Patti Smith, Terrence Howard, Flea, Q-Tip, Adam Levine, Chris Rock, Justin Timberlake, Kate Moss, Sir Peter Blake, Sheryl Crow, Dennis Hopper, Woody Harrelson, Amy Lee, Tommy Lee, the Dixie Chicks, Mick Jones, Sharon Stone, Bono, Shelby Lynne, Anthony Kiedis, Travis Barker, Lisa Marie Presley, Kid Rock, Jay-Z, Keith Richards, Billy Gibbons, Corinne Bailey Rae, Johnny Depp, Graham Nash, Brian Wilson, Rick Rubin, Whoopi Goldberg and Owen Wilson. I think there’s a Johnny Cash song in there somewhere, too.