We all know stubborn people. These are people who are very fixed in their ways and are typically unwilling to try new things or listen to new arguments. It may feel like dealing with these people is not worth the headache, but with the right types of persuasion, you can pierce the veil and ultimately get them to try something new.
The Roots of Stubbornness
To effectively persuade a stubborn person to try something new, you need to understand the roots of stubbornness. This can manifest in a variety of ways, depending on who the person is and what they’re stubborn about.
For example, let’s say you have a friend who’s totally reluctant to trying a bidet for after-bathroom-visit cleaning. They might be stubborn because they like their existing bathroom experience. It might be because they don’t understand how these devices work. It might even be because they’re uncomfortable talking about this specific topic.
Usually, stubbornness is attributable to one or more of the following:
· Fears and insecurities. Some people are afraid or insecure about the prospect of trying new things. They may have a traumatic past, or a history of trying new things with disastrous consequences. Either way, they appreciate familiar, comfortable things, and aren’t interested in pushing their own boundaries.
· Lack of knowledge or awareness. Stubbornness can also be a result of lack of knowledge or awareness. In the famous children’s book Green Eggs and Ham, the main character is reluctant to try this breakfast dish because he doesn’t realize how good they might actually taste. If a person has misconceptions about a specific product or activity, they’ll be less likely to partake in it.
· Independence and confidence. Also, some people are inherently stubborn because they’re naturally independent and confident, to the point of arrogance. They may believe that because they’ve never tried this before, it’s not really worth pursuing, or they may have convinced themselves that they already know how this experience is going to go.
How to Convince a Stubborn Person to Try Something New
So what can you do when trying to persuade a person like this?
· Get their perspective. One of the most important steps in persuading people is understanding your target audience. In this scenario, you’ll have a target audience of one. The better you understand how this person sees the world, the better you’ll be able to appeal to them. Are they stubborn out of fear? Out of ignorance? Out of false confidence? Don’t ask these direct questions. Instead, ask them to share their perspective. Be open about it and actively listen. You might be surprised at what you hear.
· Express compassion and reassurance. Next, express compassion and reassurance. Make sure this person understands that you get their perspective and that it’s valid – even if you don’t agree with it. The moment you get combative or start judging this person, the conversation is going to end. You need to build some rapport before you attempt to do any persuading.
· Describe the benefits logically. Not everyone responds to logic equally well; after all, you can’t reason a person out of a position they didn’t reason themselves into. But most people can be persuaded with the right logical arguments. If you genuinely believe this product or activity is beneficial, objectively describe those benefits. Let this person know what they might be missing out on.
· Ask for a favor (and make an exchange). One possible strategy is to ask this person for a favor, or offer to make an exchange. If they’re not willing to try it for their own sake, would they be willing to try it for yours? Is there something new that you’re willing to try for this person in exchange for them trying something new for you?
· Get a baby step. The “foot in the door” (FITD) technique is commonly used in sales. The basic premise is to get a person to agree to something miniscule, so they’ll be more likely to agree to something bigger later. If this person isn’t willing to try spicy tuna sushi, would they be willing to try a California roll with no raw fish?
· Practice positive reinforcement. Always provide positive reinforcement when a stubborn person makes any kind of concession. If they agree to take a baby step, or if they agree on your logical reasoning, praise them and make them feel good about this decision. Even if you don’t persuade them right away, you might be able to work up to it eventually.
Persuading stubborn people is notoriously difficult, but it is possible with the right strategies. If you adopt an open mindset, if you work to better understand this person, and if you speak directly to their feelings and needs, you’ll be in a much better position to get them to try something new.
