Nobody wants to be facing a divorce. Whether you’re recently married or have been together for years, divorce can be challenging emotionally, physically, mentally, and financially. Noah Baumbach’s film Marriage Story certainly got one thing right in portraying a couple going through the wringer: in a divorce proceeding, nobody wins. Especially because of how the legal system views both parties in a divorce, you can even feel alienated by the process. If you’ve just been served with divorce papers, here are a few ways to cope and prepare for the impending event.
Budget for the long road.
In a post about tips from top divorce lawyers, one thing to note is that attorney fees vary and even if they’re calculated on a monthly basis, divorce proceedings can take a long time. As a result, you’ll want to make sure that you’re budgeting enough money to cover your lawyer fees for at least a year if not more. While this could be a lot of money to get in order before beginning the arduous task of dealing with a divorce, having an appropriate financial cushion will make you feel more confident as things continue, rather than stressing about the expense.
Find ways to gain solace.
Being able to think through what’s happening to you and process it on your own terms is crucial to reconciling a major life change such as divorce. For some people that may be journaling or finding a therapist to talk things through with. Many people lean on their faith during times of crisis, and that’s certainly something you could consider, too.
Finding one or two good study bibles for sale can help you gain new insights from reading your favorite passages or verses since study bibles also include liner notes and different Biblical scholars’ interpretations of these passages. Having more than one study bible can offer you an even greater perspective, since you’ll see how different interpretations are in conversation with each other, helping provide more clarity during your time of need.
Document as much as possible.
Especially as you begin negotiating things like custody and financial arrangements, it’s crucial that you document as much as possible. This is less out of a desire to “trap” your spouse in committing to something on record and more because it protects you throughout the divorce process. Try and communicate as much as possible via text and email, so that you’re able to provide transcripts of your conversations with your divorce attorney. Doing so will help reestablish the groundwork that’s already been decided on between you two in case anything gets contentious later on.
Be smart about your money.
Just because you have a feeling your spouse is going to come for your life insurance policy or part of your retirement fund doesn’t mean you should make any brash decisions. Trying to purposely diminish your assets in order to protect them during a divorce is not a good look and could get you in further trouble if you’re caught.
It’s also important that you avoid making any large purchases that could reflect poorly on you when your financial statements are analyzed. Even if you might be stressed out and want to unwind at a high-end club with some friends, putting the entire bottle service charge on your card could be a major red flag if pointed about by your spouse’s lawyer. Staying smart about your finances in the present will mean you have more of them after everything is finalized with your divorce.
While the divorce rate is still high, it’s a myth that the divorce rate is as high as it was in the 1970s and 1980s. Even so, there’s always a chance that you may need to file for divorce, and if you do, it’s important to be able to cope in an appropriate way. By being smart about your money, budgeting for the best divorce lawyer you can afford, and seeking peace in the bible or therapy, you’ll be able to face the divorce process head-on.